why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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