I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
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He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
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