I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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