did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
