I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
