Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
