I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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