I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
