dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
it's not cheating when I paid for it
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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