...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
