Im at strip club and am horny
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
