this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
