So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
