i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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