Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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