So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
