Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
