I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
