ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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