I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
