I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize