i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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