we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
