And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
