I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
