this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
