Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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