haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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