i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
