I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
