Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
