What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
