Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
