now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
