absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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