Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
