We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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