found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
