She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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