A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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