Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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