if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
