you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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