He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
