Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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