so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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