The brown eye won't let me do that either.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize