R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
