I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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