You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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