Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
