So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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