somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
