Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
