i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
