we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
