It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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