FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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