I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
