You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
