Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
