i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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