she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
what day is it and did you see me today?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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