I heard we made out
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
