Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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