Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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