so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
